As an artist and emerging art therapist, I am eager to explore more of myself through my artwork. The art I create inside and outside of being an art therapist is what I label as response art. Response art, in the context of art therapy, is artwork used as a practice to help an art therapist manage and understand their work with clients. Although I utilize response art-practicing as an intern, I am also using response art in my daily life, responding to my internal and external experiences on a human level. My artwork aims to explore the self– i.e. being trans, non-binary, a lesbian, a child, a friend; becoming an art therapist; my mental health and trauma; etc. The deeper I dive into these themes, I notice how the creative process shows up in each of these elements of my life, allowing me to investigate how these identities interact with both my inside and outside worlds.
My creative process consists largely of exploring and using differing materials. With the arts-based research I used in this graduate project, I wanted to lean into uncomfortability by using materials that were unfamiliar to me, while also honoring the soft, human experience in finding your authentic self. During this process, I learned how to sew different fabrics to create soft sculptures, which challenged me, yet pushed me to learn more about myself. These sculptures are each responses to past artworks I had created, that I made when reflecting on different aspects of my personal life– i.e. experiencing coming out, my masking versus authentic self, societal pressures, my identity as an emerging art therapist, and the transitional experiences that have informed my lived experience. I was able to honor my 2D work by using bright colors, imaginative forms, messiness, materials connected to my childhood, and stars. The stuffing of each soft sculpture differs as I reflect on the weight of that experience. The materials used to fill the sculptures consist of my own hair, a blood stained pillow from my childhood, old clothing, blankets and pillows gifted to me by people no longer in my life, confetti stars, my own writing, and origami butterflies. This part of the creative process allowed me to further let go of my past self and past people/experiences, which, in turn, taught me more about myself along the way.
Within my recent artwork, I seek to explore and convey the tension between playfulness and seriousness to the viewer. My art reflects the self by honoring my playful traits –using messiness, color, stars, form, etc.– while not shying away from the harder, more vulnerable aspects of life through storytelling. When beginning this project, I had concerns that the artwork would read as childish and not art worth exhibiting. As I have concluded this project and research, however, it was through the creative process and utilizing materials that are unconventional to me that aided in a new understanding of self, finding my own voice and narrative, and what really connects me to my identity. With these personal discoveries I have made throughout the creation of Turning Purple, and now seeing the piece in its full, completed form, I’m very excited to share this piece of myself with everyone, playful aspects and all.
